Life's lessons "The Girl who cried Boyfriend"♥

I want to come clean about my life, and how this birthday of mine changed things for me.

Years ago I made a fool out of myself by lying about someone I shouldn't.

I was a young crazy little girl, with low self esteem and a lot of issues.

I was 16 and never had a boyfriend, I had a crush on a boy whom made me feel like dirt. All my friends had boyfriends and stories to tell about their past relationships and even experiences, I never had a story to tell. I was fresh out of high school who had nothing to share. I was a loser to myself. 

I felt so envious about all the girls in my class that I completely lost whom I was and started to create a lie.

Everyone thought this certain person was my boyfriend little did they know I was just completely obsessed with him. I made up this story I found hard to escape from.Back then I was this boy crazy girl who chased after someone who never really liked me. The boy I thought I was in love with turns out to be the biggest joke I could imagine. He made me believe that there was something about us, that there is a relationship between us even though there wasn't. I told myself that If I kept being nice to him maybe he'll love me back. I was dead wrong. He was just a complete jerk. 

He would text me stuff and I would call him at home, he'd be sweet and nice to me, but he was just being a guy. A total jock someone you could never really trust. At times he would see me and be sweet to me, he'd make me feel as if we were in a relationship and that he likes me back. I was stupid and he was an ass.. 

At that time I started to convince myself that maybe he really was my boyfriend. Lies just kept coming out of my mouth like "Word Vomit" I would even shame Cady Heron for the acts that she committed, I was the complete Regina George. I was never the Janis Ian.

I was in turmoil with myself, and I had no one to turn to. I had to fix it, I had to end the lie and the monster I've become.

I turned down almost every boy who liked me all because I wanted someone who didn't feel the same way. 

After years of trying to find the right guy for me, I told myself enough is enough. The right guy will find me, and not the other way around. 

I learned a lot from my past mistakes. I hope that people could forgive me for the lie I created years ago.

As years turned by I started showing my true self. I broke off the Lie I once created and tried to become a better person, 

Ate Tata and Kuya Dennis helped through with my life. I knew I was a handful and I am sorry for that. 

I am stubborn and has spells of a bad attitude, I'm learning how to be good, and I'm happy to say I know who I truly am now.

Years ago, I couldn't even picture my dreams, I couldn't describe who I wanted to be and what I want to become. 

I had to fall flat on my face before I had to know what I really want in life.

I have hurt a lot of people in the process but I don't want to do that anymore, I want to keep a good record with myself and I want to breathe a little better and not think about the lies I used to make to appear cooler. So that I wouldn't be the the girl who was 17 and never had a boyfriend since birth. 

Having a boyfriend is not the first priority in life, you shouldn't worry about the status you have or the titles and the number of relationships you had. It took me a long time to actually know that this is what I should have lived with not the way people would think about me.

I know this is hard to bear, I lied about having a boyfriend not knowing it's actually destroying who I was, and I will be hurting a lot of people along the way. I was 17 turning to 18 yrs old clueless of what life was about and how to deal with it.

I thought I had a real bestfriend, whom I could confide anything to. Little did I know she never really wanted to do anything with me. I didn't know who my friends were and the real friends I had I shunned and didn't even try to look back. 

My sister had an impression of me as someone who doesn't abide her rules, stubborn little person who has no real outlook in life. I never had a boyfriend in real life before Ken, because I was so scared of what she might do to me if I did have a boyfriend in my young age. 

I had a principle a long time ago, I told myself I'll never date a person my ate would not approve of.

I wanted to confess through my blog because this is the only place I can be honest and that people would know I'm telling the truth. I'm both embarrassing myself, and also showing that I'm not lying anymore.

I want to become a better person and I want to start by cleaning out the lie I created years ago. I was just a naive and foolish little girl who wanted to appear cool to her friends... I want to change the way I was. I'm older now, and I've learned a lot. 

Now that I have a boyfriend, I have nothing to hide, and nothing to lie about.This time he's for real. :)

I hope everyone could forgive me, strangers from all over the world will hear the story about "The Girl who cried Boyfriend"